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Page 44

PART I - IN THE SHADOW OF DEATH
CHAPTER 5 - HIGH HOPES AND A LETDOWN

I felt that the whole interrogation had a human quality to it. This man offered me cigarettes and fought me with objective, logical arguments. His behavior was somewhat friendly.
" The reason I'm telling you all this is to show you that I am well prepared, and I know the material well. Are you able to continue the discussion? If you're tired, I'll have you taken back to your cell."
" No thanks," I said. I was tired and apprehensive but still happy that I could talk to an intelligent person, someone who didn't radiate hatred like the Rat and the guards. The cigarette by itself was a wonderful treat. I felt a different man, as if I had again become a human being and had some significance.
" Let's discuss something else," he said with a sweeping motion. "You're not a Communist, in fact you hate Communism."
" Excuse me, but I never use the expression `hate'. I simply regard Communism as something that doesn't answer the problems of our age."
" That's quite a strong statement," he replied. "Hundreds of millions of people all over the world have chosen this philosophy because it is the most progressive one."
" And in no time at all," I interrupted, "a personal dictatorship has developed out of it, illustrating the obvious fact that it is a bankrupt ideology."
" Those are strong arguments. Let's have a cigarette. So you feel that in its present form Communism can exist only as a personal dictatorship?"
" Yes."
" You can't imagine any other development? That's interesting-for in the past, you could foresee another type of development, a brand of Communism which would be accepted and
recognized by the Western world."
This was an extremely dangerous discussion, and I did not dare answer his last comment, for I didn't want to enter into a

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