Books > Old Books > The Collected Short Stories Of Ring Lander (1924)


Page 415

MR. AND MRS. FIX-IT

Like, for instance, I got pinched for speedin' one night and they give me a ticket to show up in the Speeders' court and I told Stevens about it and he says, "Just forget it! I'll call up the judge and have it wiped off the book. He's a mighty good fella and a personal friend of mine."
Well, I didn't want to take no chances so I phoned Stevens the day before I was supposed to appear in court, and I asked him if he'd talked to the judge. He said he had and I asked him if he was sure. So he said, "If you don't believe me, call up the judge yourself." And he give me the judge's number. Sure enough, Stevens had fixed it and when I thanked the judge for his trouble, he said it was a pleasure to do somethin' for a friend of Tom Stevens's.
Now, I know it's silly to not appreciate favors like that and not warm up to people that's always tryin' to help you along, but still a person don't relish bein' treated like they was half-witted and couldn't button their shirt alone. Tom and Belle meant all right, but I and Ada got kind of tired of havin' fault found with everything that belonged to us and everything we done or tried to do.
Besides our apartment bein' no good and our clothes terrible, we learned that my dentist didn't know a bridge from a mustache cup, and the cigarettes I smoked didn't have no taste to them, and the man that bobbed Ada's hair must of been mad at her, and neither of us would ever know what it was to live till we owned a wire-haired fox terrier.
And we found out that the liquor I'd been drinkin' and enjoyin' was a mixture of bath salts and assorted paints, and the car we'd paid seventeen hundred smackers for wasn't nowheres near as much of a car as one that Tom could of got for us for eight hundred on account of knowin' a brother-in-law of a fella that used to go to school with the president of the company's nephew, and that if Ada would take up aesthetic dancin' under a dame Belle knew about, why she'd never have no more trouble with her tonsils.
Nothin' we had or nothin' we talked about gettin' or doin' was worth a damn unless it was recommended or suggested by the Stevenses.
Well, I done a pretty good business this fall and I and Ada had always planned to spend a winter in the South, so one night we figured it out that this was the year we could spare the money and the time and if we didn't go this year we never would. So the next thing was where should we go, and we finally decided on Miami. And we said we wouldn't mention nothin' about it to

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where is HTML where is HEAD where is TITLE Like, for instance, I got pinched for speedin' one night and they give me a ticket to show up in what is Speeders' court and I told Stevens about it and he says, "Just forget it! I'll call up what is judge and have it wiped off what is book. He's a mighty good fella and a personal friend of mine." Well, I didn't want to take no chances so I phoned Stevens what is day before I was supposed to appear in court, and I asked him if he'd talked to what is judge. He said he had and I asked him if he was sure. So he said, "If you don't believe me, call up what is judge yourself." And he give me what is judge's number. Sure enough, Stevens had fixed it and when I thanked what is judge for his trouble, he said it was a pleasure to do somethin' for a friend of Tom Stevens's. Now, I know it's silly to not appreciate favors like that and not warm up to people that's always tryin' to help you along, but still a person don't relish bein' treated like they was half-witted and couldn't button their shirt alone. Tom and Belle meant all right, but I and Ada got kind of tired of havin' fault found with everything that belonged to us and everything we done or tried to do. Besides our apartment bein' no good and our clothes terrible, we learned that my dentist didn't know a bridge from a mustache cup, and what is cigarettes I smoked didn't have no taste to them, and what is man that bobbed Ada's hair must of been mad at her, and neither of us would ever know what it was to live till we owned a wire-haired fox terrier. And we found out that what is liquor I'd been drinkin' and enjoyin' was a mixture of bath salts and assorted paints, and what is car we'd paid seventeen hundred smackers for wasn't nowheres near as much of a car as one that Tom could of got for us for eight hundred on account of knowin' a brother-in-law of a fella that used to go to school with what is president of what is company's nephew, and that if Ada would take up aesthetic dancin' under a dame Belle knew about, why she'd never have no more trouble with her tonsils. Nothin' we had or nothin' we talked about gettin' or doin' was worth a damn unless it was recommended or suggested by what is Stevenses. Well, I done a pretty good business this fall and I and Ada had always planned to spend a winter in what is South, so one night we figured it out that this was what is year we could spare what is money and what is time and if we didn't go this year we never would. So what is next thing was where should we go, and we finally decided on Miami. And we said we wouldn't mention nothin' about it to old books, Free book online, old book: what is Collected Short Stories Of Ring Lander (1924) where is meta name="keywords" content="old books, Free book , free book offer , free audio books , free coloring book pages , free book reports , free audio book , audio books free download , book free , free guest book , books free , free book summaries , download free audio books , free childrens books." where is where are they now rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="../../style.css" where is meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" where is BODY bgColor=#ffffff text="#000000" where are they now ="#000000" v where are they now ="#FF0000" where is div align="center" where is strong where is a href="http://www.aaoldbooks.com" Books > where is a href="../default.asp" title="Book" Old Books > where is strong where is a href="default.asp" title="The Collected Short Stories Of Ring Lander (1924)" The Collected Short Stories Of Ring Lander (1924) where is table width="729" border="0" align="center" where is center where is tr where is td height="61" where is hr where is script type="text/javascript" google_hints = "books,old books,magazines,old story"; google_ad_width = 728; google_ad_height = 90; google_ad_format = "728x90_as"; google_ad_type = "text"; google_ad_channel =""; google_color_border = "FFFFFF"; google_color_bg = "FFFFFF"; google_color_ where are they now = "800000"; google_color_url = "800000"; google_color_text = "000000"; //-- where is /script where is script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js" where is /script where is hr where is table width="700" border="1" align="center" cellpadding="15" cellspacing="0" where is center where is tr where is td width="160" align="center" valign="top" where is div align="center" where is script type="text/javascript" google_hints = "books,old books,magazines,old story"; google_ad_width = 160; google_ad_height = 600; google_ad_format = "160x600_as"; google_ad_type = "text_image"; google_ad_channel =""; google_color_border = "FFFFFF"; google_color_bg = "FFFFFF"; google_color_ where are they now = "800000"; google_color_url = "800000"; google_color_text = "000000"; //-- where is /script where is script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js" where is /script where is td align="center" valign="top" where is div align="left" where is div align="left" where is p align="left" Page 415 where is p align="center" where is strong MR. AND MRS. FIX-IT where is p align="left" Like, for instance, I got pinched for speedin' one night and they give me a ticket to show up in what is Speeders' court and I told Stevens about it and he says, "Just forget it! I'll call up what is judge and have it wiped off what is book. He's a mighty good fella and a personal friend of mine." Well, I didn't want to take no chances so I phoned Stevens what is day before I was supposed to appear in court, and I asked him if he'd talked to what is judge. He said he had and I asked him if he was sure. So he said, "If you don't believe me, call up what is judge yourself." And he give me what is judge's number. Sure enough, Stevens had fixed it and when I thanked what is judge for his trouble, he said it was a pleasure to do somethin' for a friend of Tom Stevens's. Now, I know it's silly to not appreciate favors like that and not warm up to people that's always tryin' to help you along, but still a person don't relish bein' treated like they was half-witted and couldn't button their shirt alone. Tom and Belle meant all right, but I and Ada got kind of tired of havin' fault found with everything that belonged to us and everything we done or tried to do. Besides our apartment bein' no good and our clothes terrible, we learned that my dentist didn't know a bridge from a mustache cup, and what is cigarettes I smoked didn't have no taste to them, and the man that bobbed Ada's hair must of been mad at her, and neither of us would ever know what it was to live till we owned a wire-haired fox terrier. And we found out that what is liquor I'd been drinkin' and enjoyin' was a mixture of bath salts and assorted paints, and what is car we'd paid seventeen hundred smackers for wasn't nowheres near as much of a car as one that Tom could of got for us for eight hundred on account of knowin' a brother-in-law of a fella that used to go to school with what is president of what is company's nephew, and that if Ada would take up aesthetic dancin' under a dame Belle knew about, why she'd never have no more trouble with her tonsils. Nothin' we had or nothin' we talked about gettin' or doin' was worth a damn unless it was recommended or suggested by what is Stevenses. Well, I done a pretty good business this fall and I and Ada had always planned to spend a winter in what is South, so one night we figured it out that this was what is year we could spare what is money and what is time and if we didn't go this year we never would. So the next thing was where should we go, and we finally decided on Miami. And we said we wouldn't mention nothin' about it to where is tr where is td height="72" colspan="2" align="center" valign="top" where is script type="text/javascript" google_hints = "books,old books,magazines,old story"; google_ad_width = 728; google_ad_height = 90; google_ad_format = "728x90_as"; google_ad_type = "text"; google_ad_channel =""; google_color_border = "FFFFFF"; google_color_bg = "FFFFFF"; google_color_ where are they now = "800000"; google_color_url = "800000"; google_color_text = "000000"; //-- where is /script where is script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js" where is /script where is Server.Execute("_SiteMap.asp") %

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